im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
