I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
