You really coming over, don't trick.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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