You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
