yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Dick very happy bro
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