Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
