dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
