let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
