Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
