did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
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