i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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