she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
