i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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