New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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