I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
