scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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