So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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