Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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