Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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