What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
