It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
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