people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
MIDGETS
????
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
