I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
