Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
The air taste purple.
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