I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
