u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Randomize
