oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
