booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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