I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Too much gin, very little bucket
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
