we have officially lost it.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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