I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
