Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
