no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
