he shaved USA in his pubs
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
