ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
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