go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
