Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i think we sleep fucked last night...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
