my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
