i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize