Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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