Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you would pick up someone in the library
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
