I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
