this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
