so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize