Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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