Banned from zoo.
Again?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
