He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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