Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i love accidental penises.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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