I CAN MOONWALK!
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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