i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
