But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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