eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
