I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize