who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
