Dual....:-)
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
