i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize