I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
