I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
