I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
last night I used snow as a chaser
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
