Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
