so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
