Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
