:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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