Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
In America we eat man semen.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
