i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
