i just had sex bonerless
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
